Family Secrets • 9min read

Searching for Roots: An Adopted Childs Journey to Discover His Identity

The Beginning of the Search

I always knew I was adopted, but it wasn’t until recently that I had a burning desire to find out more about my biological parents. My adoptive parents have given me a wonderful life, and for that, I will be forever grateful. However, as I grew older, I started to wonder who my biological family was and why they gave me up.

After much contemplation, I finally decided to start the search for answers. My first step was reaching out to the adoption agency that handled my case. To my surprise, they were able to give me some basic information about where and when I was born.

With this new information in hand, I began researching everything there was to know about the adoption process during that time period. It wasn’t easy; many records were sealed or lost over time making it difficult to track anything down.

Despite these challenges, my determination only grew stronger with each obstacle. Eventually, after countless hours of digging through archives and online databases, something caught my eye - a name on an old legal document matched what little information we had about my birth mother.

Hopeful yet nervous at the same time,I took a deep breath and picked up the phone ready to take another leap forward towards finding answers regarding who l am!

The First Clues

After years of wondering about his biological family, John finally took the first step towards finding them. He started by reaching out to the adoption agency that facilitated his adoption when he was just a baby. Although they couldn’t give him much information due to privacy laws, they were able to confirm that they had a file on him and offered to send him what little information they could.

John eagerly awaited the arrival of the package from the agency. When it finally arrived, he quickly tore open the envelope and read through every page several times over. The information was sparse; it contained only basic details such as his birth date, place of birth, and a few medical records.

Feeling somewhat discouraged but not ready to give up just yet, John dug deeper into the documents and discovered something he hadn’t noticed at first: a name written in faint ink on one of the pages. It was his birth mother’s name.

With this newfound clue in hand, John began scouring social media sites for any trace of his birth mother. It wasn’t long before he found someone with her name who lived in a nearby town. He sent her a message explaining who he was and why he was reaching out to her.

Days passed without hearing back from her until one afternoon while at work John saw an email notification pop up on his phone screen bearing her name as the sender. His heart raced as he opened it:

“Dear John,” she wrote, “I have been waiting for this day for so long.”

A Mother’s Confession

It was a sunny day when I finally found her. The woman who gave birth to me. My heart pounded as we sat across from each other at the café she had chosen for our meeting. She looked uneasy, and I could see that she was fidgeting with her hands beneath the table.

After some small talk, I asked her what I had been dying to know since the day of my adoption – why did she give me up? Her face grew tense as she hesitated before coming clean.

“I never wanted to give you up,” she said in a low voice. “Your father… he didn’t want anything to do with us.”

My eyes widened as a wave of emotions washed over me. My biological father had abandoned us even before my birth? It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

“He left you alone while you were pregnant?” I asked in disbelief.

She nodded slowly, tears brimming in her eyes. “I thought he would come back, but he never did.”

A Shocking Revelation

I couldn’t believe it - I had always pictured my biological parents giving me up because they weren’t ready or financially stable enough to raise a child. But this was something else entirely.

My mother went on to tell me more about their relationship - how they’d met at college and fallen madly in love. They’d talked about getting married and starting a family together - but then everything changed.

“He started acting strange,” my mother explained, looking down at her lap. “He became distant and moody…sometimes even violent.”

As soon as she realized that she was pregnant, things got worse between them until one day he just packed his bags and disappeared without saying goodbye.

“Why didn’t you try to find him?” I asked incredulously, still trying to wrap my head around everything.

“I didn’t know where he went,” She replied with a shrug. “I tried to look, but he left no trace behind.”

As we finished our coffee and said our goodbyes, I felt like my world had shifted on its axis. My mother’s revelation had answered one question but left me with so many more - who was my biological father? Where did he go? Did he ever think about me?

Despite the flood of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me, I knew that I couldn’t give up now. My search for answers wasn’t over yet.

Seeking Answers

The DNA test results finally arrived, and the adopted child was trembling with anticipation. He had waited for this moment his whole life - to discover his true identity. As he opened the envelope, he felt a wave of emotion wash over him. The results confirmed that he was indeed related to the woman who claimed to be his birth mother.

Excited yet anxious, he reached out to her again and asked if she could tell him more about his biological father. She hesitated at first but eventually revealed that she did not know much about him except for his name; however, there were rumors in their small town regarding some of his actions.

Curiosity got the best of him, and he began digging deeper into this man’s past. What he discovered shook him to the core. This man was not only involved in criminal activities, but also had a history of domestic abuse towards women - including own daughter.

The child felt like he couldn’t breathe as he read through all these disturbing details on paper. How could someone so violent be related to him? Was it possible that such traits were genetic? These thoughts raced through his mind as tears streamed down his face.

He knew then that finding biological family might come with consequences beyond just uncovering secrets; now burdened with this knowledge about biological father, how would it affect perception of self or relationships moving forward?

Despite feeling overwhelmed and confused by what he found out, something inside urged him onward: perhaps learning even more about himself would lead to closure and peace amidst turbulent emotions

The Weight of Identity

The meeting with his biological mother had been both a dream and a nightmare. He now knew why he had always felt like an outsider in his adoptive family, but the truth was too overwhelming. It seemed like all the little pieces of himself that he thought he had figured out were suddenly scattered again.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. At every meal, at work, during conversations with friends - his mind kept drifting back to the revelation that shook him to the core. He recognized himself less and less, feeling disconnected from what used to be familiar.

Seeking Support

He tried talking to his adoptive parents but found it difficult to express how he felt without hurting them. They had raised him since he was young and loved him unconditionally, but they could never understand what it’s like not knowing where you come from. That’s when he turned to his closest friends.

At first, he didn’t want to burden them with his problems. But as days passed by and emotions kept piling up inside him, confiding in someone became inevitable. They listened patiently as he spilled everything out: how lost he felt after meeting his biological mother; how conflicted about who he really is; how lonely this journey can be.

A Glimpse of Hope

The support from people who truly care for him gave him the strength to start seeking help professionally. He realized that struggling with identity is not something one should go through alone or ignore until it goes away on its own.

Therapy has helped him understand that identity is not fixed or static - rather it’s an ongoing process of self-discovery and exploration. And while some parts of our identity are formed before we even have a say in them (like our ethnicity or gender), there are other aspects we have control over (like our interests or values).

With time and patience, maybe someday soon, things will start making sense again.

Healing and Moving Forward

After the initial shock of discovering his true identity, the adopted child struggled with a deep sense of loss and confusion. He couldn’t help but think about what could have been if he had grown up with his biological family. However, over time, he began to accept his past and started to focus on healing.

He decided to seek professional help through therapy, which allowed him to explore his emotions in a safe and supportive environment. Through therapy sessions, he was able to process complex feelings related to abandonment, rejection, and identity crisis.

Additionally, he joined a support group for adoptees that enabled him to connect with others who shared similar experiences. The community offered valuable insights into the challenges of being an adoptee such as dealing with feelings of not belonging or struggling with personal relationships.

As he worked through these issues, the adopted child started contemplating whether or not he wanted to pursue a relationship with his biological parents. It was a difficult decision because part of him felt angry at them for giving him away while another part yearned for answers.

Eventually, after much contemplation and soul-searching conversations with individuals close to him such as adoptive parents or partner/spouse/siblings etc., the adopted child realized that meeting his biological parents would be an important step towards closure.

Though it wouldn’t magically solve all his problems overnight, confronting biological parents might allow him clarity on past events surrounding why they gave him up for adoption in first place - was it due to financial constraints or social pressure? With some answers in hand finally maybe he can stop wondering “what-ifs” and start building meaningful relationships based on truth and acceptance rather than secrets or lies.